#good mood: ruined

[racetrackmybeloved]

race every time les opens his mouth

[maudiemoods]

If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes

[pawoooon]

interacting with the villain : the bank

[ewwww-what]

Hey, do you mind if I take the rest of your under-developed antagonist? Yeah, i just want to give her a personality outside of being mean, do you mind?

[ellilyre]

[soni-dragon]

rain - from the letters of John Cage

Transcript under cut!

Transcript:

Rain finally came

It's beautifully cool.

Wonder how long it will last.

It was marvelous

Because it started suddenly

And then was alternately terrific and gentle.

I think of you all the time and therefore have

little to say that would not embarrass you,

for instance my first feeling about the rain was

that it was like you.

[.]

Love you.

[danwhobrowses]

I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.

What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.

For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.

While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.

I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.

Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.

Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.

And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.

[slytherheign]

i am here once again because ao3 is down and i’m so pissed because i had just started crying from an angst i was reading 😭

[ughgoaway]

You're super good at smut, but what do you think Matty would be like if his gf one time would like something more vanilla? Sorry If I'm ruining the mood I'm just super sad tonight and I'm thinking more gentle, still super good though, sex.

oh thank you <333

and you are so not ruining the mood, I LOVE soft romantic sex just as much as the other stuff. I'm sorry you're feeling sad lovely, I really hope you start feeling better soon <333

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

I can see you having a really hard few weeks, and you've not been up to anything remotely sexual. matty is, of course, completely fine with it, and has been so kind and patient with you.

you just need to be taken care of. You need to hear how much he loves you. how much you mean to him. and matty is more than happy to oblige.

maybe you start making out slowly on the sofa, just soft, warm kisses that grow needier and needier. the kisses are making you dizzy, and you can feel the love pouring from matty in each one. they're perfectly wet and sticky in a way that drives you insane, and mattys warm tongue pressing against yours is making you increasingly needy.

you pull back and look at matty with a soft pout. You simply say, "Please?" and he nods immediately.

he grabs your hips and lies you down on the sofa, treating you like you're made of glass. cradling your head and stroking your hair as you lay down.

he looks down at you with a love-struck look. Your hair was fanned out around in a way that made you look heaven sent. the soft flush that covered your cheeks and chest drew matty in, he leant down and began to press kisses wherever he could reach.

his velvety, hot lips make their way across your chest, mouthing slowly at your collarbones and neck. he doesn't leave any marks, just sweetly worshipping your body, making you understand how deeply he loves you.

"You look so beautiful, my darling. always do," he says, pulling back with a smile, brushing your cheekbone gently with his fingers.

his eyes were black with desire, but you could still see the adoration swimming within them. You smile shyly and try to hide your face in your hands, but matty grabs your wrists to stop you.

"Don't hide your pretty face, baby, let me love you," he says softly, pressing a peck to your palm and placing your hands on his shoulders before leaning in to kiss you.

and it stays slow and sensual. He pulls down your panties and his boxers. before slipping in with a satisfied groan. holding himself there for a few seconds, feeling the unspoken connection that you two share.

your warm skin slips together, fusing as one. he's deep within you, and you've never felt more intertwined.

He swaps between burrowing his head in your neck and leaning back to watch your face in awe. he takes note of your flickering eyelids, and of the way your jaw drops and the sweetest moans leave your lips.

"m' so lucky to have you, sweet girl. my angel."

he would be focused on you, your pleasure, and making sure you're comfy. he's checking in regularly, ensuring you're happy to continue.

after a whimper from you, he pulls back with worried eyes, "You okay? do you want to stop, baby? we can just cuddle if you'd prefer, " he says, stilling within you, awaiting your response.

you smile and shake your head at him, "No, no. feels so good. Please keep going. " You whisper to him, pulling him deeper and kissing him firmly.

the whole time, it's unhurried. His pace is even and gentle, staying deep within you.

he whispers reassurance to you the whole time because he can't quite believe he gets to do this with you. his heart feels full, his mind only ever thinks of you. he's completely and utterly enamoured and entranced.

his thrusts are languid and tender, intent on making you cum first. listening to your breathing and moans to know when you're close.

"s'okay baby, you can cum whenever you need to. please, cum for me princess" he whispers against your lips before surging forward to kiss you.

the coil in your stomach continues to tighten, winding tighter and tighter with each rhythmic roll of his hips. you can feel the flush on your face and your skin heating up. throbbing around matty desperately, savouring the growing heat beneath your skin.

with a shudder dissolved into pleasure, arching your back and groaning at the feeling of your pebbled nipples brushing against his hard chest. your walls spasm around him, and matty can't help the grunt that leaves him as they do, warm and wet as you pulse around him.

Matty keeps moving slowly inside you, chasing his own orgasm, "where do you want me, angel?" he asks breathlessly. You don't respond verbally but instead link your feet together behind his back, causing him to burrow even deeper inside you.

he cums with a groan, whimpering and whispering in your ear as he does, "oh s-shit. I love you so fucking much, oh my god. you're perfect, so perfect for me"

he buries his head in your neck and you can feel him smile against you, you can't help the grin that spread across your lips at the feeling of his hot cum within you and your warm sweaty skin binding together.

as soon as your hands slide over his shoulders, he flops on top of you. You giggle at his lack of finesse and run your hands over his back, kissing his temple softly.

"Thank you, I love you," you pant, turning your head to look at him adoringly.

"I love you too," he says softly, meeting your eyes and giving you a sweet peck.

maybe he eats you out afterwards, grunting and groaning at the musky taste of you mixing on his tongue. or perhaps you just lay there, basking in the glow of each other.

[foliosriot]

needing a hug from him more than usual rn

[mantarobin]

i dont know how to feel about this one chat i think its good

[killerandhealerqueen]

I refuse to reblog anything about James Vowels and his shitty comment about Logan because this is a good day for Logan and I'm not going to let my bloodlust for James' head ruin it

[lilrobinbird]

"draw me like one of your French girls"

Atuat to Hei-Ran or Hei-Ran to Atuat?

More so focused on who can actually draw? LOL cause personality-wise, Atuat is probably more likely to be laying naked with a hand on her hip? maybe? (agree? disagree?)

Oh Atuat is 100% making the pose and asking Hei-ran to draw her, the mood is great, the sensuality in the air, and then turns out Hei-ran can't draw and shows her something like this

[effen-draws]

"You know, it's not courage to resist me, Boyd."

Rewatched Ravenous (1999) for the third time with some more friends! And. and. I still think so much about this movie my god.

When I have more time for something that isn't just a passing doodle I promise my few fellow Ravenous enjoyers that I'll finally make that mock-poster that I promised months ago o7

[hilariousrabbit]

when you realize black butler could have been one of the most memorable dark fantasy mystery series in anime if it weren't for the fanservice with actual children

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

i just did a hard workout and you know what my mood is great now

science has won

again

exercise give you endorphins endorphins make you happy etc etc